Confidence Versus Conceit

Confidence is of key importance to having a happy, productive life. One must be able to believe in both ability and worth when it comes to many aspects of life, such as work, education, socialization, even relationships. Without a healthy self-esteem one may want something, yet not have the motivation to pursue it; even a person that strives for something may not believe it is deserved in the end if confidence is naught. Though appearance is superficial in the grand scheme of things, a person must possess the ability to accept oneself and appreciate one’s uniqueness, lest feelings of being unworthy of a romantic relationship sneak in. People that are not self-assured at times do not reach their full potential, and in even worse cases, their lack of self-worth can cause destructive tendencies that not only hurt them but the people around them. However, with this being said, there are major differences between someone who is confident and someone who is conceited.

Someone who is confident possesses self worth and embraces strengths while also acknowledging and improving his/her weaknesses. While this person may be proud of a talent, skill, or accomplishment, this do not mean turning a blind eye to the accomplishments of others. People of this persuasion do not set out to prove to the world that they deserve everyone’s undivided attention. Personal knowledge and growth is enough to satisfy someone self-assured, and the criticism from others will not cause this to falter, even if it makes someone stop and reflect for a moment. A confident person does not rely on the validation of every person met, as it is understood that not everyone thinks and believes the exact same though other’s right to an opinion is respected. Those that have self-esteem often revel in the happiness of those around them, as they do not need to tear others down to make themselves feel important. They are open to new ideas, even if they are steadfast in what they believe. Self-assured people are scarcely afraid to share an opinion, but they do so without being intentionally offensive or pretentious. A person of this personality will take care of outer appearance, however neither places value solely on such a trivial facet of life nor seeks the approval of everyone as a “standard of beauty”. In many cases, these people are comfortable enough with themselves to go against the societal fashion norms. Confident people tend to attract many others to them, and usually are not adverse to socialization, though quality friendships are valued over quantity. In relationships, they know what they want and what they deserve, but they also are keen to want to keep their partner happy. They are not content to settle for someone that treats them poorly.

Conceited people are never content to believe in their own strengths. They will over estimate and/or exaggerate their strengths , capabilities, accomplishments, and importance. People of this caliber also usually assume that those around them always must view them in the same light and will become very annoyed or hostile to those that question or threaten their perceived superiority. Arrogant to a fault, a conceited person will inundate others with mundane life details, trivial problems, and over-stated accomplishments. Often, conceited people are vain, and have seemingly uncountable pictures of themselves, while putting unspeakable amounts of money into beauty products, clothes and the like. These people will fake a humble exterior, while their actions bespeak someone that wants to draw an overt amount of attention to themselves. At the center of it all, conceited people have a psyche based on selfishness and grandiose self-importance. It often stems from the exact opposite of what a person wishes to convey: deep seated insecurities and feelings of inadequacy. It is a mindset of, “If I pretend that I am more than how worthless I feel, then people will surely see that I deserve money, love, friendship, etc.” These people tend to constantly seek validation of their accomplishments, therefore they never seem to talk about anyone other than themselves. Of course, there are many that actually believe they are that superior and seek others to praise them as they “deserve”. Egotistical people are perceived at first as charming, but in reality they have few friends. Instead they prefer “followers” or “admirers”. If someone falls into a relationship with an arrogant person, one may find that this person is more interested in his/her own wants, needs, and qualities.

While there are major differences between these two personality types, there is a fine line between them, especially if one is not confident but wishes to project such an image. It takes times, self-knowledge, and reflection to get to the point of confidence. In my case, it has taken over a decade, and I still must work at it daily. Never sell yourself short, but also don’t make a mountain out of a molehill and tell others it’s a fortress.

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